Jasper Beardsley
If Springfield had a Mount Rushmore for old-timers, Jasper Beardsley’s face would be front and center—assuming he doesn’t mistake it for a large potato and try to eat it. As one of the most hilariously cranky residents of the Springfield Retirement Castle, Jasper is a walking collection of outrageous one-liners and bizarre antics. Whether he’s trying to freeze himself in an ice cream freezer, demanding his wooden leg back, or grumbling about “back in my day,” Jasper is the epitome of geriatric comedy gold.
That’s a Paddling!
Jasper Beardsley Gift Ideas and Merch
Jasper Retirement Home Figure Set
Relive the golden years of Springfield with this Simpsons Playmates set featuring the Retirement Castle and the one-and-only Jasper Beardsley. From his wild stories to his iconic “That’s a paddlin’,” this collectible captures all the hilarity of Springfield’s elder statesman. Mint in box and a must-have for Simpsons collectors!
Buy on eBayJasper Quick Hits: King of Cranky Comedy
Full Name: Jasper Beardsley
Alias/Nicknames: The Frosty Geezer, Beard Guy, Old Guy
Height: 5’8″ (173 cm)
Age: 70s to early 80s (approximately)
First Appearance: The Simpsons Episode: “Homer’s Odyssey” (Season 1, 1990)
Signature Look: Long scraggly beard, green shirt and vest, a perpetually disgruntled expression
Core Personality Traits: Cranky, eccentric, stubborn, and surprisingly adventurous
Quirks: Outrageous one-liners, a love-hate relationship with modern technology
Role in the Series: The grumpy former vet yet hilarious elder of Springfield’s Retirement Castle
Famous Scenes
- Frozen Jasper: His attempt to freeze himself in the Kwik-E-Mart freezer, yelling “Stay frosty!”, is classic Jasper chaos.
- “Back in My Day”: Jasper’s rants about the past are hilariously nonsensical.
- The Wooden Leg Incident: When asked for his leg back, Jasper deadpans: “You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.”
Best Friend(s): Abe Simpson (his best pal and fellow grumpy old-timer).
Enemies or Rivals: Modern technology and, well, pretty much everything else.
Hidden Lineage: Jasper is a former WWII veteran, as evidenced by his military-like grumbling in some episodes.
Catchphrase: In the age of memes, Jasper has become famous over the Internet for his quote, “That’s a paddlin'”, from the episode The PTA Disbands.
Jasper’s Biography
Jasper Beardsley might be old, but he’s far from boring. As one of the most hilariously cranky residents of Springfield’s Retirement Castle, Jasper has been delivering deadpan one-liners and absurd antics since the very first season of The Simpsons. Whether he’s freezing himself in the Kwik-E-Mart freezer, losing his wooden leg in a poker game, or ranting about how “everything was better back in his day,” Jasper’s unique brand of comedy makes him one of the show’s most memorable side characters.
Jasper’s gruff exterior hides a surprising sense of adventure. He’s been known to join Abe Simpson on outrageous escapades, like their ill-fated attempt to escape the Retirement Castle in The Old Man and the “C” Student. And let’s not forget his stubborn refusal to let age—or common sense—get in the way of a good laugh. Jasper doesn’t just embrace the chaos; he creates it, whether he means to or not.
With his scraggly beard, endless supply of curmudgeonly complaints, and iconic moments like “Stay frosty!”, Jasper Beardsley is proof that Springfield’s elders have just as much personality as its kids. He might be cranky, but that’s exactly why we love him.
